It's official. I have made my first big mistake as Maddie's mom. I have done the unthinkable. I got her used to sleeping in our bed. Ugh. Now, she doesn't always sleep there. I've put her to bed at night in her bassinet from day 1. She just somehow doesn't end up there in the morning :). I know better too. I know how important it is to teach her to sleep on her own and to be able to self-soothe but I just love having her close to me so much that I haven't been able to help it. When she wakes up for her middle-of-the-night feedings it just feels so nice to lay her next to me as we both drift back to sleep. I love opening my eyes and seeing her sweet little face. I love hearing the little snoring noises she makes and feeling her hands reach out and touch my face as if she knows what she's doing. I just can't help it.
But I do know better. So we're on day 5 of trying to fix my mommy "mistake". Luckily I don't think I've done too much damage because she seems to be adjusting to the change just fine. Sadly (to me), she seems just as content to go back to sleep in her bassinet as she did to sleep next to me. So big crisis averted. I guess I have to let her be a big girl at just 7 weeks and sleep on her own. Sigh. It's funny how early on you have to begin to let go....and how early on it begins to hurt. Bittersweetness.
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