Monday, December 31, 2007
January - moving in to our brand new house. Thank you, 2007, for making a very big dream come true.
February - settling in to our new house and making it a home with friends and family.
March - Ana really beginning to talk. I'd been waiting 18 months for this and finally it's here!
April - my joining of Tiny Tots. One of the best things I could've ever done.
May - the birth of our beautiful baby Madelyn. Thank you, 2007, for giving us another miracle. She was and is perfect.
June - getting to witness the bond my two girls are developing. Unlike anything you can imagine.
July - our 5 year wedding anniversary. It came in the blink of an eye but feels like an entire lifetime. Thank you for granting me another year with this incredible man.
August - an awesome family getaway that was a long time coming. Thanks, 2007, for finally making it happen.
September - the anniversary of one of the greatest days in my life. Our Ana turns 2!
October - a successful start to AnaGrace Designs!
November - getting to spend Thanksgiving with the girls' Auntie Kiki
December - a month full of blessings. A Christmas to remember.
For all of this and everything in between - the friends made, the friendships deepened, relationships strengthened, family blessings, a husband sent from above, and two of the most perfect little girls ever created - I thank you, my friend. And I hope you put in a good word for us with your buddy 2008 :). Here's to you!
Happy New Year everyone!!!!
Not that I'm complaining because I LOVE it. Three of these get-togethers were at our house and all four of us were grateful for it. Not only did it make things immensely easier for the girls but having family and friends in our very first house (no disrespect dear townhouse) celebrating our very first Christmas as a family of four was awesome. Not to get too ooey and gooey but I could literally feel our house bursting with love this Christmas weekend. It doesn't get better than that.
The girls are so blessed to be surrounded with so many people that love them. I remember growing up just me, my mom, my brothers, and my aunts and feeling like we had the biggest family. I loved having my aunts so close to us all the time. But our girls have that ten-fold. They're surrounded with aunts and uncles and cousins and great aunties and grandmas and grandpas. It doesn't get better than that.
I could sit here listing all of the material gifts that were so generously given to my little family this Christmas but really the only one that matters can't be listed at all. To have the people we're lucky enough to call family here with us for a Christmas that will go down in my book as the best one yet- it doesn't get better than that.
Friday, December 28, 2007
So where do I even begin?
Let's start with my beautiful Madelyn. Not only is she saying "Mama" but last Friday as Anthony was changing her diaper she began to say "Dada" - not "dadadadadada", "Dada". Amazing. She's become the happiest, smiliest (if that's not a word it should be for her) baby I've ever seen. One look at her and she graces you with a big, gummy smile. She laughs a lot - when you tickle her, when you look at her, when you talk to her - and she's sweet. She cuddles and tilts her little head to the side when someone looks at her. How did we get so lucky?
And Ana. This little girl just keeps blowing us away. I was never the mom that screamed "my baby's a genius!" straight out of the womb. Like most first-time moms, I diligently read my "What to Expect the First Year" book each month to see where her progress held up. And each month I beamed as she was always ahead of where she was "supposed" to be. I took pride in it but wasn't exactly dialing up Mensa for early admission. But now? She amazes me beyond words. The full-out conversations she holds with us and other people knock me off my feet. She's always been quick at picking things up, even as a baby, and now you can teach her something once and she runs off with it. She recites books, songs, and nursery rhymes in both English and Spanish. She's polite as can be and even says excuse me if you're in her way. One of her latest, and perhaps one of my faves, is that she's sticking up for herself. I worried early on that her being so quiet may lead to kids taking advantage of her but no way. If she doesn't like something she'll politely say "No, thank you". And if you do something to her that she doesn't like she'll let you know. That's my girl.
So I think that's it for right now. I'll post some Christmas details soon but for now it's off to get more done!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
6 months ago I didn't know how to be the mother of two.
6 months ago I worried how your sister would take to you.
6 months ago I didn't realize how much my life was about to change.
6 months ago I would never have been able to nurse a baby and prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a toddler...at the same time.
6 months ago I learned what it meant to grow another heart.
6 months ago I thanked God for the miracle that is you.
6 months ago you were born into a life of love and have given me more than I imagined possible. Whether you had been my first, second, or fifth baby I love you as though I had never done this before. Know that.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Skip to Sunday....
Anthony woke up with said stomach "thing". He spent the entire day much like I had spent my day before and doused it with endless "I don't feeeel good"s and very weak-sounding "Can I have ____?"s.
Now on to this morning....
5:30 am. Ana wakes up calling for me. Unusual but she sounded ok. I grabbed her and brought her back to bed with me. 15 minutes later, that "thing" was sure to have gotten her too. She began to throw up (in our bed nonetheless) so I rushed her to the bathroom where we COMPLETELY missed the toilet. I began to prepare myself for a very sick and crabby girl. But instead? Instead, almost instantly after throwing up, she began to clap her little hands and yell "Clean up! I need to clean up! hehehehehe! Mommy cleaning! Wash my hands, Mommy!"
And this is the last I've heard of Ana's stomach "thing". I'd say Mommy and Daddy stand to learn a thing or two about dramatics from this little girl, wouldn't you? :)
*Update: Tuesday night brought us a very sick Maddie. It was very obviously the same "thing". But, just like her sister, she showed Mommy and Daddy up. In between throwing up we were graced with nothing but baby talk and giggles. We seriously need to rethink our pain threshold.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
I have officially stopped nursing my Maddie. Completely not my choice but it's happened nevertheless. Just over a month ago she began to get very fussy at most feedings, so fussy that she refused to stay on long enough for the milk to come. It became a vicious circle. She would latch on but get impatient when the milk wasn't coming and end up unlatched and very upset. The more she unlatched, the longer it would take for her to get her milk. The longer it would take, the more upset she would get. The more upset she would get, the more impatient she became. And so on, and so on, and so on.....
It was out of sheer desperation that I began giving her a bottle whenever this would happen. I knew enough to know this would affect my supply so I bought a supplement system. She hated it. I held on to 4 nursings for a few weeks but that fell to 3, then to 2, and eventually to just one. Then, our once very efficient morning nursing wasn't giving her enough. So it's all bottle now. And I feel awful about it. Did I give up too soon? Is there more I could have done to prolong nursing her?
I can honestly say I always try to do what's best for my girls and this, especially, was no exception. But that doesn't ease the guilt in thinking it may have been my mistakes that made this happen. It may have been my impatience that led us to this.
Like any mother, I want the absolute best for my baby and the knowledge that now she won't be getting it is tearing me up.
Monday, November 19, 2007
- Maddie's first public meltdown
- Ana's first annoying favorite word - "FINE!!!!"
- First time I've been so irresponsible that I would actually let my truck run out of gas with one of my girls with me
- First time Ana put me on Time-Out and repremanded me
- First time I've had to take care of THREE cranky babies (Anthony being, quite possibly, the biggest baby of all)
- First time Maddie waved hi (whether it was on purpose or not I'm not sure but let's say it was)
- First time Ana has walked into a house of kids she didn't really know and didn't act shy for one second but instead became instant friends with them
- First time Maddie and Ana laughed together so hard I almost cried
But the biggest First of all...
- First time I have felt like SuperMom as I cleaned, cooked, changed diapers, bathed, soothed, doctored, hugged, kissed, and kept very happy my three perfect angels :)
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Yesterday as Anthony and I were laying on the floor with her, suddenly she popped up onto her hands and knees. Are ya kiddin' me?!?! She's not even 5 months old. THEN, today she took a big ol' leap from her hands and knees to get a toy. What is with this little girl?!?!?! What's her rush????
Please, Maddie, slow down.
P.s. Seriously. Have you ever seen a more beautiful baby? (Of course this is my completely unbiased opinion :) )
Ahem...I even got it on video :).
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
And I buy my kids too many shoes. I don't like to let them repeat outfits too often. I will rarely wake either of them from a nap even if we do end up being late to almost everywhere we go these days. Ana doesn't usually watch TV but there are days that I have to get things done so I've let her watch for up to an hour and a half straight. I've dozed off again after hearing both of them awake in the morning when it was just too early and I just didn't feel like getting out of bed. I've pretended to make something from scratch for dinner when really I bought it completely cooked. I've spent too much money of stuff we don't need. I'll let the laundry pile up for waaaay longer than you can imagine and Anthony's had to run out for milk at night more times than I can remember because I forgot to buy it....again. I spend way too much time trying to get things done that, at the end of the day, not much actually gets done and I've gone weeks (yep, weeks) without making a home-cooked meal.
There you have it. My guilty secrets. The crazy, unpractical, unreasonable things I've done. I've spent a lot of time feeling bad about them until I realized this. My husband's happy, my little girls are amazing, and I can't think of anything more I could possibly ask for. Secrets? Maybe. Guilty? Not anymore.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
So here we are. You're two. But I look at you and you're still a baby to me. I always say that kids are still babies until they turn two but now that we're here I'm taking that back. I assume in some sense you'll always be a baby to me but I look at you and you're such a little peanut that it doesn't feel right to call you a big girl just yet. Of course I constantly tell you you're my big girl and you love that but inside I still see you as that little babe I brought home 2 years (and 3 days) ago.
I have to admit though that as much as I'd love for you to stay a baby forever you'd like nothing more than to grow, grow, grow. In fact, you decided about 4 months ago to start moving at warp speed. You've always been a quick learner from early on but when you hit 20 months it was like some gates opened and you just couldn't wait to show us everything you knew. For months you've been counting to 10 (sometimes 13) in english and spanish and you can sing most of your abc's. You recognize pretty much all of your letters but can't get through the entire song without cracking up (we'll get to that in a minute). You know all of your shapes and colors and have really taken to singing songs on your own lately. "Tinkle Tar" and "Happy Buhday to You" are recent faves. You're bff apparently is Dora the Explorer and you even sing along to her songs now. I swear if I'd let you you'd watch her all day but one show a day is all the time you usually get to spend together, if that. You love your books and insist that your bear book be read to you before naps and at bedtime no questions asked. Every couple of days you'll adopt a new favorite (Snow White is your latest) but the bear book must be read as well. I'd love to say you have a favorite toy but you seem to love anything you can get your hands on. One of my favorites though is watching you play with your blocks and build towers as you count them. But what you love even more is knocking those towers down while yelling "Ha-ya!". Hilarious.
You surprised me a couple months ago by telling me when you had to go potty. I thought for sure it would be a while when suddenly you felt you were ready. You're taking it easy with the potty training but it's coming along nonetheless. I'm letting you do it at your own pace for now and you seem to be doing just fine. I'm guessing in the next month we'll be taking it up a notch but you may have other plans so we'll see.
So that's what you've been doing. Now for what you're like. My sweet Ana, you are so much more than I would've ever known to ask God for. The sweetest girl with an independent streak that blows me away. You love doing things for yourself but never ever shy away from asking for help after you've tried it on your own. One of your first sentences was "I try" and boy, do you. You will try pretty much anything. From going down a waterslide to eating anything new I put on your plate. You're so tough that 99% of the time you fall or hurt yourself you just dust yourself off and reply "I'm fine" when I ask if you're ok. You say bless you when anyone sneezes or coughs and please and thank you come pretty much unsolicited now. In fact, when I give you something you often say "thank you, mommy, thank you". Hands down, you are the most polite 2 year old I have ever known. Yes you throw your tantrums but they've never lasted longer that a minute (literally). Even when you get overtired you turn into a goof well before you get cranky. And you can get a bit possessive of your toys from time to time but only with Maddie, and even then it's only until I tell you to share.
You're a cuddler but Maddie's the keeper of most of your hugs and kisses. At least 50 times a day I find you going to her only to give her a kiss on the cheek or her head and slipping in a little squeeze. You have become such a good sister, Ana, that it makes my heart ache. After a bumpy start you have come to love Maddie more than anything. You're so gentle with her and are constantly asking where she is if you can't see her. But luckily for us she doesn't get all of your affections. Everyday you greet Daddy at the door with an enormous "Daddy's home! Daddy, I miiiiiiissssed you!" and you have a little conversation about what you did that day and when you're done talking you politely tell him to "Shower Daddy. You're tinky". You tell us you love us all the time but telling us you missed us is one of your favorite things and I swear I pray it never ends. I check the mail and return to "Mommy, I miiiissssed you!" You take a nap and when I come get you I'm greeted with a huge hug and, of course, "Mommy, I missed you!" If ever I wonder if I'm doing ok you reassure me with that. I often wonder how it's possible for you to be this good of a girl but you are. You just are.
And can we talk about that sense of humor? You're two and you can take a joke like no other. You NEVER get upset when anyone messes with you. Never. In fact, you find it quite funny when someone teases you or takes stuff away from you trying to see if you'll get upset. Everything is funny to you. We've already spent more moments than I can remember in your bed laughing about nothing. You giggle and it makes me laugh. I laugh and that makes you laugh harder. Before I know it, there we are cracking up. You even laugh when I play "I'm gonna getcha" with Maddie and we're nowhere near you! Your goofy sense is one of things that makes us love you most. You make Daddy and I laugh every single day whether or not you're even around. You're all about the dance now and the other day as you were dancing you just had to stop to tell Daddy "Oooooh, I like this song!". Oh, and you're soooooo expressive lately. You don't want anything anymore, you need everything. "I need oatmeal! I need down! I need Dora!" But yes, when asked, they are follow by a "peeesse!"
I love that you laugh at everything. I love how you love your sister. I love your strong-willed "no's" when you don't want to do something. Where did you come from, my sweet girl? And how did we get so lucky to become the parents of you - sweet, wonderful you? You have given us more in 2 short years than we dreamed for a lifetime and we thank you.
Happy 2nd birthday beautiful girl. I love you.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
This morning - Her first, full-out belly laugh. She's been giggling for months but this morning as I was playing with her she began her first real chuckle and boy is it one of the sweetest sounds I've heard in a while.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Dear 20 year old self,
This summer with your friends that will forever be known as "the condo days" will be some of the best days of your life. Cherish them because you'll look back and miss them.
Carie, Kristie, and Dana will become your best friends. They'll stand by you as you get married and be there when you have your babies. Take care of these friendships because you'll need them.
You fight with Anthony way too much. Stop being so insecure and trust that he really is that genuine. He loves you like no one else can and he's not going anywhere.
You're not fat. You think you are but you're smaller than you'll ever be. You'll miss being this size, trust me. But rethink the "fuller eyebrows". They're not really coming back.
Go to therapy.
Get in school and stay there. Not doing so will be one of your biggest regrets. You think you make enough money because you're making more than your friends are but they're still in school. You will NOT feel this way later.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Enter the dream crusher. Saturday night. You know, the same Saturday night that used to be occupied with drinks and dancing that didn't even begin until after 10 pm. The same Saturday night that was literally NEVER spent at home. This past Saturday night was a dose of reality like I'd yet to experience. More sobering than changing my babies diapers or nursing around the clock. Saturday night I became a mom in a way I wasn't before. This was the Saturday night that I spent where only a mom could. Yep, I spent it grocery shopping.
I'd love to say this was a quick trip to pick up some milk but it wasn't. It was a full out grocery-list-in-hand kind of trip. The store was of course nearly empty, except for, you guessed it, other moms. I did spot a "young" (probably my age) couple but before I could even finish thinking "see? this isn't so bad" I realized they were just picking up some drinks and probably on their way to some cool party. I cruised the aisles marking off items from my list and ran into mom after mom, each with their trusty lists in hand. By the end of the trip I felt about 30 years older. This is what it's come to, huh? This is what moms do on a Saturday night. Hm. I guess this is what I do now on a Saturday night.
So as I handed over my coupons and paid for our groceries it hit me - I am, in every sense, a mom and a housewife. Bad? Not at all. But I do think, for my own self preservation, I'll be returning to my Tuesday afternoon trips to the Jewel and taking back my completely insane disillusions. I'm just not quite ready to give up my old self entirely. So even if it's only in my head I will continue, every once in a while, to be carefree and free of responsibility. That is, of course, until I get home.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
- He had the nerve to get mad at me for going shopping by myself for 4 hours when he was called off of work one day. "I feel like you take it as a free day when I get called off of work" he says. Oh yes he did. Never mind the fact that I was shopping for the girls and him and bought not a single item for myself. And since when are 4 hours considered an entire day??? Trust me, honey, if I'm out to "steal" a free day for myself I will lovingly remind you how long an entire day really is. Not to worry though. 7 looooong hours later he realized what a fool he sounded like and apologized :).
- Our big girl has been counting to ten (and sometimes 13) unassisted for weeks now
- She knows all of her colors and shapes
- She's talking up a storm (a continuous, seemingly endless storm at that)
- She is IN LOVE with her little sister
- She's rolling over from back to belly! Yay!!!
- She's talking that sweet, sweet baby talk
- She's laughing and smiling and breaking Mommy's heart with how fast she's growing
Ok, these were the big ones and I'm getting back on track. See, the thing is that I'm one of those horrible people that loses complete track of time when I sit down to do something. There is no "I'll do this for 45 minutes and that's it" for me. So while I was sitting here blogging the dishes were piling up and the dust was gathering on the furniture. So now, a month later, the dishes are finally done (yeah right) and I've found a moment to sit here. But that moment's up so I gotta go update the girls' website now!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
As if that weren't enough.....Miss Ana has ditched her new 6:30 am wake-up time for a much more mommy-friendly 8:30 am wake-up. Yes, I sit here one happy little mama :).
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Right now I get all day, every day to clean the house and take care of my girls. There are plenty of days that don't seem to contain enough hours to get everything done but I've come to realize that's my own damn fault. My obsessive nature allows me to believe that I can get everything done in one day and when I don't, I feel not only disappointed but utterly exhausted. So now I allow myself days to do nothing more than spend time with my girls. I won't fill my days with laundry and mopping the kitchen floor. I won't clean the bathrooms and I won't straighten up our rooms. Instead, I fill those days with kisses and cuddles and coloring and tummy-time. It's because I'm a stay-at-home mom that I have the luxury to do that. It's because stay at home that I have all of this "extra" time.
I know that once I go back to work I'll be longing for these days at home with them. And I know that's why I keep putting off going back to school. Anthony and I had agreed that I'd go back to school and then start looking for a job after Maddie turned 1. The plan was for me to start graduate school last October. Being pregnant with Madelyn and living at my brother's made that impossible so I moved it to April. The semester didn't end until June 1st and Maddie was due May 28th. Postponed until August. We're now in August and I haven't even applied. Postpone until October perhaps? I have been struggling with this for what seems like forever. There is a big part of me that would love a career, something to define me as something other than "wife" or "mommy", something of my very own. I think of that and I get a surge of ambition and then......and then I realize what I'll have to give up.
I'll have to give up morning snuggles and lunching everyday with my girls. I'll have to give up being there to put them down for their naps and getting them when they wake up. All this extra time that so many moms find a burden is what I'll miss most. Am I ready for that? Am I ready to add a job to this life that already feels so complete? I have no idea. I honestly don't know what to do. As my udder mudder (aka Anthony's mom) so cleverly put it, going back to school will NEVER get in my way, it can only help me. Then, after I'm done, I can decide whether or not to go back to work. Makes sense. But to me, going back to school is deciding that I'll go back to work too. To me, they're a combination package. Why would I go back to school if not to go back to work?
I have no idea. But I'll keep you posted....
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
And our beautiful back yard :)
Monday, August 6, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
To begin with, she got her very own big girl bed (complete with the ugly railings that take away from her oh-so-cute quilt comforter). We're leaving it on the floor for now to avoid any huge falls and fear of heights that may develop as a result. She wasn't exactly thrilled about it at first but by day 3 it had won her over. I think she loves the freedom of being able to get up if she wants to. The first day that she actually slept in it, as I was expecting the usual "Mama! Mama!" wake up call, she made no noise when she woke up. When Maddie finally woke me up at 8am I ran to check on Ana bracing myself for some kind of disaster. But instead I found her sitting on her big girl bed reading a book. Oh, the sight. I stood there one proud mama imagining the quiet mornings that lay ahead of me while my sweet girl entertained herself with books until I woke up. Fast-forward to two mornings later......"Mama! Mama!" Yep, it's back. Oh, well. The important thing is that she's in her big bed and she actually sleeps in it. Milestone, check!
Next, she's all about letting me know when she's gone potty (as previously posted). Coming from a kid that never, I repeat NEVER minded a dirty diaper, this is HUGE. I thought for sure I'd be sending her to Jr. High with size 12 Huggies on her bottom. Milestone, check!
Now, on to her latest and greatest. This kid has been doing leaps and bounds with her vocabulary it is absolutely amazing. She'll repeat pretty much anything (Anthony has been warned) and tells us things we don't remember even teaching her. Though she'll repeat you all day long she likes just as much to tell you things she knows herself. She's constantly pointing to everything and telling us what it is. I love to hear her say new words and repeat the old ones. But more than that, what I really love are the phrases she says. The "Oh, maaan!"s and "Mommy knee a mess"s. I love that she's putting it all together and she knows exactly what she's talking about. Instead of "milk" now it's "more milk please". And oh how I love that she can now put her little personality into words. That is the Best! When she's feeling particularly goofy she'll do something, laugh, and then say "oh, silly!" When she tickles you she'll say "tickle, tickle, tickle!" or "getcha! getcha! And when she really likes something it's "oooooh, nice!" She's even found a way to "personalize" what she calls me. Up until recently it had been "mama". Suddenly, out of nowhere, she begins to call me "mom". Not "mommy", "mom". What? Is she 14 now??? Is she going to start calling me "Mrs. U" next? So the other day Anthony told her not to do something and guess what happened? An upset little Ana came running to me with the sweetest "mommy" I've ever heard. Hey, even if it comes only at her convenience I'll take it.
So on top of all this, Ana's been singing the alphabet all by herself up to the letter "G" and will start saying letters any time she sees some writing (on a shirt, etc.) She's also counting with me, get this, in both spanish AND english (what?!?!). It's crazy. She does the numbers by herself up to three but prefers to count them with me (i.e. I say 1, she says 2 and 3, and so on). Oh! And colors. For a little while there everything was purple. Everything and everyone. Well, my little miss has graduated from that. She's now into pink, yellow, and orange. Green and blue come and go but she's getting it. And the other day I went to get her and as I changed her diaper she pointed to my necklace and started to say "circle". This kid's even doing her shapes! Come on now!!!
As if this weren't enough, Ana's big making huge strides in the big sister department. She has become soooo sweet and gentle with Maddie. Maddie spits up, Ana's right there to clean her up. Maddie's crying, Ana's right there's to see what's up and then is certain to come tell me "Maddie crying!" She'll give Maddie her pacifier when she thinks she needs it and is just full of hugs and kisses for her. I gotta say, this may be the best milestone of all for me right now because I was beginning to wonder if we had caused Ana some permanent damage by giving her a little sister. Boy is this one a relief.
See what I mean that I'm afraid to blink? It's like her little brain has retained all of this stuff and, almost all at once, wants to let it out. The last few weeks have honestly been some of the best. I love watching her grow and learn and become more and more of her own little self. She knows what she likes and what she doesn't and isn't afraid to tell you "no" when she just doesn't feel like it. I know that's typical of a toddler but with her it's never a defiant "NO!" It's more of a "no, thanks". And we've learned to respect that. Ana's taught me a lot and one of the biggest things I've learned is what a true wonder it is to see her blossom. This has seriously been, by far, one of best things about being her mom.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
After a quick restroom break at Target the other day I got in line at the register as usual. And as usual the cashier tried to make small talk with my precious, usually-too-shy-to-answer Ana. Now I'd love to say that as usual she did not respond. I'd love to say that. But instead this is what happened.....
Cashier: "Hi there! Are you shopping with Mommy?"
Ana: "Mama go poo-poo."
I do believe we have a winner for the Phrase of the Week folks!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
We went swimming at a friend's house a few weeks ago and I did manage to squuuueeeeeeze into an old swimsuit but I was very careful to slither into and out of the pool before anyone had the displeasure of having to actually look at me. Can I do that for 3 straight days? It's doubtful. I will nevertheless try, but it's doubtful I'll be successful. So here it is. Another challenge for me (as I clearly don't have enough challenges these days). I have to get moving on losing this baby weight. The way I see it, Labor Day weekend is just under 6 weeks away and they say that's how long it takes to start seeing the results of regular exercise right? So I have just under 6 weeks to transform my body into something that won't make my family want to swim into the lake never to be seen again.
There's no way anyone will get me to reveal my weight in numbers but I will say this - 2 weeks ago at my post-baby checkup I was about 12lbs from my pre-baby weight. If I could lose 7lbs in 6 weeks I'll be happy and I think our fellow vacationers will thank me for it. Why 7? No idea. Just sounds good. Ok, I have to go. Unfortunately, blogging ain't slimmin' these thighs.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Like rolling over didn't make for a big enough week for our girl, she's also started cooing. Oh how I love the cooing. She squeals with excitement now too and she's starting to realize that she has one crazy, kooky sister. She's paying more and more attention to Ana and you can already tell she's going to have a ball with her in the next few months. Gotta love it!
I know it's technically Maddie Monday but I just can't hold this in for another day. As Ana and I were walking down the stairs today guess what I heard? My big girl began to sing her ABC's. She only got up to D before I of course interrupted her with my ever-so-overdramatic excitement so I'm not sure yet how far she can go. But you should've heard her - like she's been doing it for months! I actually wouldn't doubt it. I'm convinced that after we put her to bed she sits there and has full out conversations and now I'm starting to think she's already caught on to everything we've been working on and is just waiting for the right time to unveil it. She already knows.....it's all about timing. That's my girl :).
Friday, July 20, 2007
I started this blog when the doctor put me on bedrest. I couldn't shop, do housework, or take Ana anywhere. Quite frankly, I was bored out of my mind. I had read a few other mom blogs and loved the idea of having an outlet for what ever struck my fancy. As I began to write it turned into a collaboration of moments, milestones, meltdowns, and everything in between of my life with Ana...and now with Maddie. I loved the idea of having something that my girls will be able to read in the future that will give them even a glimpse into what their mama was thinking and doing in their early days. For the most part my posts have been pretty much me gushing about my girls and how wonderful my life is with them. I write about what they're doing and what they're saying. I write about what I think about being a mom and how mamahood is treating me. And now it's hit me. I don't ever write about me. Not me the mom or me the poopy diaper changer. Me. I want my girls to know who I was before I was Mommy. So I want to declare that my mission. But here's the problem. Do I even remember who I was before I was Mommy? Is that girl still there???
Three years ago I was already married but was still very much my own person. Anthony and I had our life together but always managed to have our own lives too. I would vacation with my gals and was living exactly the way I wanted to be. I had a job where my mind was actually of some value and I received a nice paycheck for it. I got to wear nice clothes everyday and I didn't have to worry about going home at the end of the day with spit up in my hair. And then I had Ana. I never saw myself as the stay-at-home type. I repeat, and then I had Ana. I made the decision to stay at home and I don't regret it. Not for a second. But the truth is, no one finds anything glamorous about a stay-at-home mom. No one. Not even me. I find myself missing my job. Not so much the working part of it but the gossiping and the 2 hour lunches and the after work drinks. I've been home for over a year and still hesitate when someone I meet asks what I do. "I stay at home". Blah. Sure I could go into all that I actually do to give it some meaning but what's the point? Unless you yourself stay home with your kids and are an active part of their lives you're not going to understand anyway. I may as well say I watch Oprah everyday and flip through magazines while my kids raise themselves. I'd get the same respect, right?
My life now is baths and poop and grocery shopping and housework and more poop. It's reading Elmo books for the 1,842nd time and watching Dora the friggin' Explorer. My body is no longer my own but instead a milk factory for Maddie and jungle gym for Ana. Instead of shopping for cute shoes on a weekly basis I shop for diapers and wipes and more diapers. I used to wear cute underwear. Now? As long as there's enough material to fit over my post-baby bootie I'm sold. And don't let it be too expensive because life on one income ain't no joke. Who knew Kathy Lee could become your favorite "designer"? I long to wear clothes that aren't made of "stretchy" material and if I could get a bra that doesn't have flaps, even better. My library of InStyle magazines has made way to the endless parenting and mom magazines I've subscribed to and the sales that get me excited are now at Jewel instead of the mall. Before I had kids I vowed to be the "cool mom". The mom that knew all the lyrics to their favorite music and would totally share their taste in clothes. I daydreamt of overhearing my kids' friends say with such enthusiasm as I left the room after doing something uber hip "your mom is the coolest".
So what have I done? Where did I let myself go? I don't know but here it is. Here is my declaration. I declare to take myself back. I will be cool again (or for the first time even). My girls will know me for the fun, kooky gal that my friends used to love. Sure to them I'll still be overprotective, rule-making, schedule-following mama, but I will be F-U-N. If not only for their sake, for the sake of my own sanity. We'll see how this goes....
fyi - I do realize using the word "kooky" doesn't exactly make me cool. My coolness starts....NOW.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
But I do know better. So we're on day 5 of trying to fix my mommy "mistake". Luckily I don't think I've done too much damage because she seems to be adjusting to the change just fine. Sadly (to me), she seems just as content to go back to sleep in her bassinet as she did to sleep next to me. So big crisis averted. I guess I have to let her be a big girl at just 7 weeks and sleep on her own. Sigh. It's funny how early on you have to begin to let go....and how early on it begins to hurt. Bittersweetness.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Me to Ana: "Get your toe out of Maddie's eye!"
Would've thought I'd ever have to say those words??? If you ask me this is God's way of forcing you to laugh even on the most trying days. And I gotta say, it works.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Friday, July 6, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
*Quick note: the little princess blessed us with her first real smile last Monday night at exactly 4 weeks old and she's already lighting up rooms with it. It's soooo beautiful :).
Friday, June 29, 2007
Not sure why no one bothered to mention this to me when we talked of having a second baby or even throughout the entire 9 months that I was pregnant with Maddie. Why didn't anyone find it relevant to tell me that having two kids is HARD - really hard? I know people do it all the time and maybe it's come very easy to everyone else but, man, am I having a tough time getting it together. Now don't worry. Everyone over here in Ullsmithland is alive, well-fed, and seemingly happy. That I have managed to do. But, if you know me even a little, you know that's not enough to qualify for my definition of having it "together". My house is forever a mess, the laundry seems to never get done, the vaccuum is sure to be covered in cobwebs, and I AM EXHAUSTED - not tired, EXHAUSTED. I actually thought I was going to be able to do this (and do it well, I might add). I genuinely thought, after a couple of days of settling in, I'd be able to keep my house clean, keep the refridgerator well-stocked, cook dinner almost every night, play with Ana, and take care of Maddie, all while looking fabulous, of course. Ha! It's been so long since I've cleaned the toilets that I literally live in fear of what may be living in them. Milk, Pepsi, eggs, and yogurt describe the contents of our refridgerator. I've cooked once, once, since having Maddie. And a daily (quick) shower has become a luxury rather than a staple. But Ana and Maddie? I've at least been able to manage that part. I keep them clean and fed and they seem very happy (even Maddie in her adorable infant, newborn way) but it, of course, doesn't seem like enough. I'm somehow blessed with enough energy to get through the days (and nights with Miss Maddie) but come early evening I am spent. It's an exhaustion like I've never felt before. Even back in the day when I would stay up until 5 in the morning only to be at work by 7 did I not feel this tired. I'm the "energizer bunny" for God's sake! I never used to get tired! I was always the last one to leave a party and could keep up with the best of 'em.
There have been way to many nights to mention that, as I pray, I throw in a prayer for God to get me through this, to remind me why it's all worth it. And then the next day Maddie gives us her first smile, or Ana repeats the ABC's almost perfectly and I remember that that's what it's all about. I know it won't feel like this forever. I know that once I get our "routine" down I'll wonder what I ever complained about. But until then, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
I know I just wrote a big long post about Maddie on Friday (or was it Saturday? See what I mean?) so not too much is new today in her world. Ok, so I guess those 7 straight hours of sleep were just a teaser though. Haven't had a night like that since. But she does sleep at least 3.5 hours straight on any given night and more often than not it's closer to 4.5 or 5 hours so I can't complain. She is, after all, only 4 weeks old. She still naps a lot during the day but when she's awake her eyes are so big and bright it's like looking at Ana as a newborn all over again.
I'm trying very hard not to compare my two kids but quite frankly it's a heck of a lot harder than you'd think. I remember when I was still pregnant with Madelyn Anthony had said to me that we should do everything exactly the way we did it with Ana because she was such an easy baby. And, being the ever-so-logical one, I reminded him that this baby may be completely different than Ana so things may not work the same. Sounds very "put together", right? Right. So tell me why then, if I'm the one that said it, is it so difficult for me to remember that now. I have to admit that Maddie seems to be a lit bit more temperamental than her sister was at this age (although I do think, in comparison, she's still a good baby). And every time see fusses or cries I can't help but wonder why, what worked to soothe Ana doesn't work on her. It frustrates me. It shouldn't, but it does. I thought that everything was going to be so much easier this time around because I had already done it. Truth is, sometimes I feel like I've never done this before and it's completely new to me. Sure, certain things are easier like the diaper changing and bathing and dressing. But everything else? Well it's a whole different ball game.
Maddie is her own little person and she reminds me of that constantly. She's a great eater but only likes to eat 5-10 minutes at a time and likes to follow that with a 5-10 minute nap. She loves being held when I have a million other things to take care of at that exact second. She's usually pretty content but when something's bugging her there is no "quietly letting me know". No, it's a full out scream (it only lasts a second but I guess she wants to make sure I hear her the first time). She seems to like bath time whereas my Ana never did and she doesn't mind when I dress her. Ana never seemed to mind a dirty diaper but Miss Maddie? Oh, she's a totally different story. Wet or dirty you can rest assured that I will know about it within seconds. This does lead to pretty easy diaper changes though. She's not a huge fan of the swing that Ana loved but she can spend hours in the Baby Bjorn that Ana didn't much care for.
I could probably go on and on listing the differences in these two princesses but what's the point? I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that Maddie is her own person and am accepting that she, too, has a whole lot to teach me. I think that once I abandon the notion that this should be easy just because I've already had a baby things will be much easier. What I know for sure about what they do have in common? They both love their mama and I feel it :).