Zzzzzzzz....

That's the sound of my new found full-night's sleep! I am so happy to announce that my precious Maddie is now sleeping completely through the night. She's been sleeping from 7 pm to about 4:30 am for about a month already (I know, she's awesome) but since I don't go to bed until close to 11 I had yet to benefit from her 9 1/2 hours of straight sleep. Well, a few nights ago she slept from 7:15 pm and didn't wake up until 8 the next morning. Can you hear the "Hallelujah" song playing???

As if that weren't enough.....Miss Ana has ditched her new 6:30 am wake-up time for a much more mommy-friendly 8:30 am wake-up. Yes, I sit here one happy little mama :).

Our Harley Guy

I've always been completely against motorcycles (at least when it involved someone I love) but even I have to admit he looks pretty darn good on his bike.

Am I ready for this?

You'll never find a shortage of stay-at-home moms complaining about their job. Just listen closely and you're sure to catch a whinefest close by about unruly kids or a messy house or feeling like life is completely out of control. Though I'll be the first to admit that there are days that are tough, really tough, and that sometimes it feels like you're just one little person with the workload of 100's, I realize that being able to stay at home with my girls is a blessing. On those tough days when I can be found daydreaming of being at work instead of at home I realize that going to work won't ease my workload, it'll just add 40 hours plus commute to it. Right now my full-time job is to be a mom and nothing else. Once I go back to work I won't suddenly become a part-time mom. No, I'll just add "full-time employee" to my resume. Am I ready for that?

Right now I get all day, every day to clean the house and take care of my girls. There are plenty of days that don't seem to contain enough hours to get everything done but I've come to realize that's my own damn fault. My obsessive nature allows me to believe that I can get everything done in one day and when I don't, I feel not only disappointed but utterly exhausted. So now I allow myself days to do nothing more than spend time with my girls. I won't fill my days with laundry and mopping the kitchen floor. I won't clean the bathrooms and I won't straighten up our rooms. Instead, I fill those days with kisses and cuddles and coloring and tummy-time. It's because I'm a stay-at-home mom that I have the luxury to do that. It's because stay at home that I have all of this "extra" time.

I know that once I go back to work I'll be longing for these days at home with them. And I know that's why I keep putting off going back to school. Anthony and I had agreed that I'd go back to school and then start looking for a job after Maddie turned 1. The plan was for me to start graduate school last October. Being pregnant with Madelyn and living at my brother's made that impossible so I moved it to April. The semester didn't end until June 1st and Maddie was due May 28th. Postponed until August. We're now in August and I haven't even applied. Postpone until October perhaps? I have been struggling with this for what seems like forever. There is a big part of me that would love a career, something to define me as something other than "wife" or "mommy", something of my very own. I think of that and I get a surge of ambition and then......and then I realize what I'll have to give up.

I'll have to give up morning snuggles and lunching everyday with my girls. I'll have to give up being there to put them down for their naps and getting them when they wake up. All this extra time that so many moms find a burden is what I'll miss most. Am I ready for that? Am I ready to add a job to this life that already feels so complete? I have no idea. I honestly don't know what to do. As my udder mudder (aka Anthony's mom) so cleverly put it, going back to school will NEVER get in my way, it can only help me. Then, after I'm done, I can decide whether or not to go back to work. Makes sense. But to me, going back to school is deciding that I'll go back to work too. To me, they're a combination package. Why would I go back to school if not to go back to work?

I have no idea. But I'll keep you posted....

Phrase of "Last" Week

I know I'm slacking.....

Ana: "Love you"

Perhaps my very favorite phrase of all. She just started saying it and it makes my heart ache to hear it I tell you!

Ana Picasso?

I present to you Ana's first "real" painting project......

And Ana after finishing her masterpiece.....

I love it!

The grass really was greener on the other side....

But not anymore!!! They finally came and laid down that green carpet we had been waiting soooooo long for and it's beautiful! I tell ya, we were *this* close to just putting down some AstroTurf. Glad we held out :).

The front view

And our beautiful back yard :)

Maddie Mondays: She's My Heart

Right from the beginning of my life as a mama of two I was amazed by the amount of love I have to give. When Ana was born I thought my heart had been filled to its capacity. I look at her and can actually feel my heart bursting at the seams. It's as if my entire heart belongs only to her. So how is it then, when I look at Maddie a second later, I can feel the exact same thing. When I hold my baby girl it's as if there is no one else in my heart but her.

I heard once that a mother grows a new heart each time she has a child and I swear now this must be true. Ana showed me how to love in a way I hadn't known before and Maddie has taken that beyond words. I'm overwhelmed with how happy she makes me. I honestly haven't tired of looking at that cheeky little face and I don't see how I could. We're at the stage now where she's developing a personality and if she's giving any indication of what she's going to be like then we're all in for quite a treat. She's constantly looking around to take the entire world in with her big, beautiful eyes and can sit there and watch me, Anthony, or Ana for what seems like hours. And the moment you look at her and talk it's a smile from ear to ear. Oh, how I love the way she smiles. She smiles with her entire face and kicks those chubby little legs when she gets excited. She's just so happy to be - just be.

Maddie has shown me patience I never expected to be capable of. She reminds me everyday to take each moment in because I may never again be the mama of a 9 week old, or a 10 week old, etc. She helps me slow down and realize how good life is - how good God is. What a blessing one perfect little girl was to us, but two? Two happy, healthy, unbelievably precious little girls to fill our home. Life doesn't get any better than this but the best part is that I know it.

Phrase of "Last" Week

Ana: "Catch!"
Me: "No! We do NOT play catch with our pizza!"

Wordless Wednesday: Movin' on up.....

Before....

And after...