Dear Mia...

Dear Mia,

Was the last time I wrote here really when you were only 6 weeks old?? And now you're 6 MONTHS old?? I could apologize endlessly but the fact is, you and your sisters have made me one busy little mama. I guess it doesn't really matter though how long it's been, right? What matters is that I'm here now and I have sooo much to say to you.


Even though I'm just now writing this letter to you let me tell you that I've been writing it in my head for months. Every time you do something new and every morning I get you out of bed and you look like you've grown over night I try desperately to freeze those moments in my mind. I try to convince myself that I'll remember everything but that gets tougher and tougher every day. I hold you close, shut my eyes, and it's like we just met yesterday. But we didn't meet yesterday. We've had 6.5 beautiful months with you already. So in an effort to freeze time I want to tell you all about you in these last 6 months.


You are incredibly sweet. And I mean incredibly sweet. When your sisters were babies I found that each of them could be summed up almost completely in a word. Ana was an "angel". She slept, ate, behaved like an angel. Maddie was utterly "happy". She made me and everyone around her incredibly happy. And you, my sweet sweet girl, are just that - incredibly "sweet". You can be so quiet but are always paying attention. You smile at everyone that has the pleasure of looking your way. And that smile, oh that smile, it will turn even the grumpiest person into a pile of giddy mush. Sometimes you smile with your entire body - arms go up, legs kick out, and you're big ol' eyes get so squinty they almost close. And sometimes, which are Mommy's favorites, you give just the faintest little smirk that makes you appear so much older than your 6 little months.


And while you are certainly the sweetest, let me tell you, baby, that when you are unhappy about something - anything - you don't shy away from letting us know. In fact, I think you're convinced that you not only have to let us know there's something wrong but you must scream it at the top of your lungs. You can go from your sweet, calm little self to quite the demanding little girl in a matter of seconds. But even then your cuteness doesn't fade in the least bit. Because as quickly as you get upset it's never anything a simply hug and smooch can't just as quickly fix.



You've been my worst sleeper :). That said, any baby book would still put you in the "great sleeper" category for sure. Your sisters spoiled me by sleeping 12 hours through the night very early on and, though you were sleeping 7 hours straight by 3 months, it wasn't until 5 months that you gave me the 12 hours. With that you brought a patience to my heart that wasn't there before. We're a family of sleepers and going over 6 months without a solid 8 hours of sleep wore on me. But each night, as I would nurse you back to sleep after you inevitably woke up between 3 and 4, with heavy eyes and tired arms, I would sink into your rocking chair and just watch you. I would watch you nurse and then drift back to sleep. Most nights I would sit with you long after you were already asleep just to hold you and have it be just you and me (something we don't get much around here :).


Speaking of...let's talk about your big sisters. They love to dance and sing and yell and run. And they LOVE to do all of that for you :). In fact, there is nothing those two little girls wouldn't do for a chance to see you smile at them. And smile you do! Maddie can crack you up like no one else. She dances and makes funny faces that you apparently find hi-larious. Pretty much anything Maddie does makes you laugh. You love to watch her and I swear I can see you taking mental notes on how to entertain. I have a feeling that the two of you are going to be putting on some pretty fun shows in the future and getting into your share of trouble together :).


And then there's Ana...oh Ana. You and her have already developed the sweetest little relationship. When she walks into a room you light up. You love to watch her and listen to her voice. Your relationship with her is the first one I really noticed. From very early on you were smitten with her. And vice versa all the way. She ADORES you, sweetpea. Like nobody's business. She calls you "our baby" because to her you're not her sister, you're her baby. She says things like "I feel like I've waited my whole life for this baby" and "Mia! You need to stop with all of this cuteness because I just cannot handle it!" Yeah, she's a pretty sweet and funny one.

Now let's talk about what I don't want to forget and you're sure to want to know:

• your first smile came on the day you turn 1 month
• your first giggle happened just a couple weeks later as I was kissing your sweet chin
• from your very first giggles you started getting the hiccups every time you laugh and I LOVE it! It is, hands down, one of the cutest things everrrrr!
  
• by 3 months you were sleeping 7 hrs at night
• at 3 months you rolled all the way over
• at 4 months you could find your pacifier in your crib and put it back in your mouth (something that doesn't "normally" happen until 8 months)

• at 4.5 months you started sitting up
  
• at 5 months you started sleeping 12 hours through the night
  
• just after you turned 5 months you reached for me for the first time {looooove}
  
• at 6 months you started giving me, and only me, hugs and big, open-mouthed kisses and I can't get enough of them!
  
• at 6.5 months (on Easter, actually!) you sat yourself up from laying down

And today, at 6 months and 3 weeks you did the army crawl for the first time AND you said your first word.

And your first word would be....

Dada :)

Oh that Dada of yours. He is kind. He is patient. He is so in love with his third little girl. You melt his heart with every smile and every cuddle you give him. And although you're more of a mama's girl than a daddy's, the moment you see him come home from work may very well be the happiest you look all day! Every single day you great him with an ear to ear toothless smile that's something for the books. And if he walks away those bright brown eyes will follow him wherever he goes. Even though he's not Mommy, he's found his own special way to calm you down when you get upset. If you fuss or cry he will sing "Miss Mia Mack" to you and it calms you down every.single.time. It's awesome. You have managed to steal away a heart that's been stolen 3 other times already. Oh yes, sweetpea, you're that good :).

My sweet girl, of all my girls you are the most attached to mama. So long as you're in my arms, you rarely cry. If you are upset it usually takes little more than my attention to turn your little tears into a smile almost instantly. Even for Daddy, until recently if you were in his arms you were fine as long as you could see me :). I calm you down like nobody else and I'm the sole recipient of your hugs and kisses. How lucky am I that I get to be loved by another one of God's miracles? I couldn't possibly explain to you the blessing that you've been to me, sweetpea. I feel as though you are an extension of me and I of you. This attachment you have to me, it certainly isn't one-sided. You were 10 weeks old before I left the house without you (even only for a couple of hours) and 12 weeks before I could leave you even after you were already in bed for the night. When you cry it hurts me. If you're upset I can't calm down until you're happy. So much of this I know comes from the mama that your sisters have made me - one that's softer and loves like I didn't know was possible. But so much comes from you. You're a sensitive little soul and it's made me a different kind of mama. I don't worry about the "right thing to do" anymore and I don't have my nose glued in a book like I did when you're sisters were babies. My only concern is what's right for you. You teach me every day how to be more patient, more loving, and more present. How lucky I am to have you. How lucky our little family is to have had you for these last 6 beautiful months of your life.

We love you to the moon and back, sweet girl!

Love,

Mama xoxo

Happy 8 Year Anniversary, Babe!

I love you.

Ana's Big Day, cont...

Ana's 1st Day of Pre-School!

Our super big baby girl, so happy to finally go to school...

Yep, I let her get a character backpack. And so the relinquishing of control begins...

My baby girls...

Settling in all on her own...

And of course we can't forget the eco-chic snack bag :)...

She did amazingly well. Went right in like the independent little one that she is. Me? I lost it. Not until 5 minutes after Maddie and I left but I did. It wasn't pretty, people. I did the ugly cry. The noonecanunderstandmewhileI'mblubbering cry. Not my proudest moment but hey, I earned it.

There was a bonafide photo shoot happenin' here before we left so more pictures to come!

Tough

Being a mom is tough.

Being surrounded by fits and "no"s and "she hit me"s and "mine"s is tough.

Being mistaken for a jungle gym and getting a finger in the eye or a foot to the cheek almost daily is tough.

Having to keep your cool when your two little wonders decide that doing the exact opposite of what you tell them would be hilarious is tough.

And hearing your two-year-old tell you to leave her alone for the first time is really, really tough.

And then your 3-year-old writes her name all by herself for the first time.

And your 2-year-old goes on the potty for the first time.

And you get to lay in bed with your two little girls reading story after story while they hold hands and the 3-year-old rubs your head and whispers "I'm the happiest girl in the world, Mommy."

Then it becomes a whole lot of easy and you wonder what you were ever complaining about.

Ana Ballerina

I have been waiting for as long as I can remember for the day that I would put a tutu on my little girl and take her to a dance class. Honestly, I've been waiting forever.

So when I got a phone call last Monday letting me know that Ana had been moved from the waiting list for a ballet class to being in the class I was in Heeeaaaavennnnnn! I ran out for a leotard and the stinkin' cutest size 6 ballet slippers I'd ever seen.

I made my way home with outfit in tow and daydreamt of my little Ana and the pirouettes she was sure to master on her very first day. The moment she saw them she immediately put them on. And wore them the rest of the night. And slept in them. I loved it.

In the morning I was met by a very eager 3 year old with slippers in hand asking if it was time for her ballet class yet. AWE-SOME! But wait. Too good to be true, right? Yeah, totally what I thought. So I managed to brace myself for her to completely loathe ballet and never want to put a tutu on again.

Uh, WRONG! She LOVED IT!!!! She was smitten immediately and jumped right in and listened to the teacher's instructions and didn't look for me once and made friends and spoke up and made me cry. Yes, sir. I was the mom I always knew I would be. Cried through the entire 30 minutes. It's not like I was a blubbering mess or anything. I managed to hold it together enough to not get myself kicked out but still, these eyes were-a-cryin'. I cried cuz she seemed so grown up. I cried because she was so independent. And I cried because I saw how happy it made her.

I'm totally aware that this could be short lived, much like her soccer career, but whether it lasts for 2 weeks or 30 years I will cherish every second of it.


I've been waiting for this.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Little Miss Maddie

Oh my sweet girl.

You're two now and I don't even know where to start. In three words, you are, LARGER THAN LIFE. Everything about you is larger than life - your temper, your personality, your sense of humor, your love of everything. You throw the biggest fit over the tiniest things and you get the most excited over the simplest joys. I love that about you so. much.

I know you're mine, and this may sound biased, but I think you're the funniest 2-year-old I've ever known. You have a character that blows our minds every single day. You're mean to your sister but she's the first one you ask for every morning. You absolutely refuse to hold Mommy's hand when you walk but I can't get through making dinner without you tugging at my legs begging to be held. You love Daddy like nothing I've ever seen and scream in delight at the sight of him at the end of each day.

You're two and know exactly what you want. You push my buttons like no other 30-lb chunk of love ever has and you swell my heart even more. I love you, sweet girl. I love you like you'll never know...well, until you have a perfect little girl of your own. It's been a wild, crazy, and full two years. Thank you, baby, for choosing me to be your mom. Thank you for letting me hold your hand (figuratively of course :)) through these past two years. You're a gift to me and to our little family, Petunia, and I could never imagine our life without you.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Madelyn Grace. I love you.

xoxo,
Mama

Preschool

I registered Ana for preschool today.

And I can't really write any more about it cuz, at least right now, it's purty tough to swallow.

Oh Maddie...

You're counting to 7 unassisted, 11 with help. You count to 4 in Spanish, 9 with help. You know your colors and most of your shapes. And you talk, talk, talk. Some of our favorites are:

"Help me, Mama!" when you want up, down, out, in, whatever.
"Bless you, Mama."
"Here!" when you hand things to us.
"Doing, Dada?" when you want to know what he's doing.
"Matter, Mama?" if you think I'm upset.
"Here I am!" when I call you.
"Wait!!!!" of "Para!!!" if I walk away.
"Miiiissed you!"
"I yuv you" - all. the. time.
"Morning, Mama."
"Coming, Ana!" when you're in your crib and you hear Ana.

I love you more every single day.

Happy 18 months (plus 2)

Madelyn Grace,

This is your 18 month letter.

You're 20 months and 8 days old today.

This has seemed to be the theme of our entire life together.

One day you're 18 months old and the next it's 2 months later. One day I'm holding you for the very first time and the next your running up to me screaming "I yuv you!" You're moving and growing at the speed of light and I'm trying as hard as I can to hold on and enjoy the ride because let me tell you, little girl, what a ride it has already been.

You are so much in one tiny, chubby-faced little package - so much attitude, so much character, so much sweetness.

You play hard - very hard. You throw your weight around like nobody's business and continuously remind everyone who's boss. You take things from your sister. Actually, you often don't even want something until Ana has it. You're stronger than you know and Mommy, Daddy, and Ana are usually the ones to pay the price for that. You love it when Daddy tackles you and see his time on the floor as an opportunity to tackle him back, usually when he's not expecting it. You don't do well with being told no and will instantly drop your head, stick out those lips, and burrow your little brows. You love to say no and will repeatedly say "down!" while someone holds you until they oblige. In fact, Auntie Dana still thinks that's the only word you can say. HA!

It's true that you are a force to be reckoned with, my girl, but even as hard as you play, you love even harder. You're like a walking lovebug. You can't see me kiss Ana without puckering up for your own. You wake up yelling for your sister and start your day with a big hug for her each morning. You love it when I kiss your hands, your feet, your cheeks, your lips. You spontaneously burst into fits of hugs and kisses throughout each day. You say please, thank you, welcome, and bless you without being asked. You love to be surrounded by everyone you love, you always have. When Daddy walks into the garage it's "where Daddy?". When I go into the other room I return the the sweetest "Mommyyyyyyy!!!!!" in the world. I often wonder how that enoromous heart fits in your little 31 inch body.

You count to 3. You LOVE to dance. You've got moves we've never seen on a 1-year-old. You love music. You think you're hilarious. You know the first 2 parts of a knock-knock joke and are working on the punchline. You don't sit down for a full book but love to bring them to us to start them. You understand EVERYTHING. You try to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle" and get a lot of the words right. You love your sister and think she's the funniest person in your life. You call your bear your "baby". You need your "sock on" first thing in the morning. You'll eat pretty much anything. You are so cuddly. You go nonstop. You have crazy hair that can look perfect one day and untamable the next. You're belly needs to wear a 2T but your little legs still need 18 months. You've scared me to no end. I lost track of the words you can say months ago. You use 3-word, and now 4-word sentences. You are dramatic. You are our sunshine.

You are amazing.

And you have filled up my life.

Happy 18 months (plus 2), sweet girl. Mama loves you.

XOXO

You at 18 months.

You now with your sister and your crazy hair :).

So big

"Let me down, NOW!!!" - Maddie's first four word sentence. And totally Maddie-worthy, if I may say so myself :).

It was over as quickly as it began...

9/09/08 - Ana's first soccer practice. She LOVES it. She kicks the ball, runs around, warms up, even plays a practice game with her team. Soccer is her sport. Mommy and Daddy beam with pride and look forward to a promising season.



9/16/08 - Auntie Carie and Baby Wyatt come to see Ana play. She refuses to go out onto the field. Doesn't go out even once. She's suddenly afraid of everything - her coach, her teammates, the ball, the other team. Mommy and Daddy's dreams of a future soccer star are slowly fading.


9/23/08 - Ana gets out onto the field! But she insists on holding her coach's hand at all times. Maybe soccer's not her sport. At least not for now anyway.

I don't know what the right thing to do here is. Do we let her give up and quit? Or do we force her to do something she's so obviously not into? Ugh. Mamahood is tough.

My Dearest Ana,

Today's the day. Today is your day. Your very big third birthday. You're officially no longer a baby. Somewhere between your little infant snore and your acquired knack for singing everything, you've grown up.

You've grown up to be a talker, a chit chatter really. Sometimes you're content in pure silence. But when it strikes you, you chit chat with the best of them. You go on and on and on and on and I. LOVE. IT. The things that you say crack me up, melt my heart, and boil my blood.

You know SO MUCH. You know things I've never taught you. You teach me things I didn't realize I should know. You have a memory like nobody's business that can get Mommy in trouble sometimes but a lot of times (like when I'm looking for my keys) it comes in very handy :).

You are becoming the very best sister we could ever dream of for Miss Maddie. Your concern for her when she cries overwhelms me. The way you talk to her in your sweet mommy voice chokes me up. Sure, you still have your moments with her and have single-handedly taught her the words "mine!" and "no!" but there is no doubt in my mind that you will be this little girl's very best friend.

How in the world you could be everything I've ever wanted in life, everything I've every wanted to be, is beyond me. Before you, I didn't believe perfection existed. You're a sweet potato. You're hilarious. You love to laugh. You're feisty. You're so smart. You're so witty. You're a stinker. You love big. You have such incredible concern for Mommy, Daddy, and Maddie. You're stubborn. You're sassy. YOU ARE EVERYTHING.


I love you.

xoxo,
Mama

I love you

I don't have the time to write much of a post (shocking, I know!) but I do need to write this. My little Miss Maddie, 2 weeks and 1 day ago said this mama's favorite words. "I love you". Clear as day. From my 15 month old chunk of love. Oh baby, how I love you too!!!!

Right before my eyes

So Miss Maddie Mac is now saying...

Bounce
Good girl!
No
Mine (thank you very much, Miss Ana!!!)
and Pasta


I love, love, LOVE a baby's first words. Especially my baby's first words. She's becoming a big girl right before our eyes and it's bitter sweet. I melt when she wobbles across the room just to hug my leg. And her humongous laugh makes me want to fall over. She loves her sister and wants to do what she does but she's very much her own little person. I love that she calls for Daddy when she hears him come in and she calls for me every morning. But I have to say I already miss the little baby she was.

Talk away, Baby

I realized after I published the last post that I forgot to give Maddie credit for a few words. Among the ones I mentioned, she also says agua, duck, Daddy, Mommy, Mama, and Dada. And today she added cookie and baby to that list.

I am so looking forward to hearing her talk, really talk. I daydream of, months from now, hearing her and Ana have actual conversations with each other. I'm so looking forward to it but cherishing this Maddie language she has now because, before long, I'll be missing it so much. I can hardly remember what Ana sounded like just a short 18 months ago. I miss her baby voice and words only I could understand. But, I'll tell ya what, I wouldn't trade anything for the conversations, opinions, and Ana-isms I get to hear now. That....is what I'm looking forward to with Miss Maddie.

Sigh....

It has been forever since I've sat down and written anything. I finally got around to finishing Maddie's birthday letter (that I started weeks ago, months after her birthday still). I feel like there's been so much going on these last few months that to actually catch things up on here would take days in itself. So I guess, for my own sanity's sake I'll just try to list some highlights.

Maddie -

She started walking a week before she turned 13 months. She still wobbles a bit and pretty much looks like she's been at a really great party for 3 drinks too many, but when she is up and about she's quick. Check her out :)

She's talking. Says words like dog, cow, down, spoon, uh-oh, wow, buh-bye, hey, yeah, hi-ya!, nana, ana, tickle, and toes. To name a few :). And her first two-word sentence is "that way!", as in , "where's your bear, Maddie?" "that way!"

She recognizes everything. "Where's the cow?" "Time to clean up." "Where's your belly?" "Where are your toes?" "So you want to take a nap" (to which she shakes her head 'no'. haha.). She understands and answers in her way.

She's picked up a handful of animal sounds and will make them when you ask her what certain animals say. Her very favorite is the ducks "quack, quack" but she knows the cat, dog, lion, and, bear.

Ana -

She might be starting pre-school this fall. Might be.

She has turned that little girl in her into a big girl with BIG drama. Everything's a big deal some days.

She loves taking care of Maddie and making her happy when she cries.

She comes up with phrases that crack. me. up. Whether she's heard someone else say them or they're complete "Ana originals", coming out of her little mouth, they take on a delivery of their own. Today she told me "Mommy, I'm sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of this." Um, okaaaay.

She's had a really hard time with Daddy working so much. Never one to demonstrate separation anxiety, she's gone through a phase of getting upset whenever he has to leave (for work, to the store, to the bathroom). It breaks our heart but it's getting better.

She loves to help clean, do laundry, shop, and do the dishes.

She went to the dentist for the first time. No cavaties and some reassurance that her crooked little teeth should end up just fine so long as she keeps that thumb out of there. Here's to hoping!

She's learning her past presidents. We got George Washington and Thomas Jefferson down :)!

Us -

Too much to get into right now. Things have been rougher than I'd like and life may be about to completely change for us but that's still to be determined. I'll get into it later since I'm giving this whole blogging thing a renewed commitment. Again, here's to hoping!!!

Until next time...

Dear Maddie...

OK, so you're 14 months already and this is technically supposed to be your 1st birthday letter but I can promise you it's been writing itself in my head for months - for the last 14 months actually. What's funny though is that I'm not really sure I know even where to start. So how about we just rewind almost 2 years...

The news of you came on September 8th, 2006. After a "feeling", I took a pregnancy test at home while Daddy was at work. Within seconds two little blue lines appeared. Unlike with your sister, I wasn't surprised. I wasn't in shock and I wasn't speechless. I knew before I had taken the test that you were inside of me. Somehow, I just knew.

At 7 months pregnant with you, I began getting regular contractions and, just to be safe, the doctor put me on bed rest. And I got scared. I got scared that you may come too early. I got scared that I had done something wrong to make this happen. And I got scared that anything could be wrong with you. I vowed to stay off my feet and put every once of effort into making sure you stayed put for as long as possible. Daddy was amazing. He would work all day and then come home and take care of Mommy and Ana. At 36 weeks the doctor took me off bed rest and said it was OK if you wanted to make your arrival at any day. And though I desperately wanted to meet you, I prayed everyday that you would stay put until your due date. I prayed because I knew it was what was best for you but I knew you would come when you were ready. And that you did.


You were born right on your due date after 6 short hours of labor and 3 big pushes. And you were a girl. And you were our baby. Your chubby little cheeks barely gave way to your beautiful eyes and your chunky legs resembled those of your sister's. I cried as I saw them carry you to the warmer and I cried when they finally placed you in my arms. I had waited 9 long months for you and there you were. Our beautiful Madelyn Grace. All 8 pounds and 10 ounces of you. The same 8 pounds and 10 ounces that were about to rock our world.


This last year with you, my sweet girl, has been both a blur and one long moment pressed into my memory. It went by too fast. I feel like I've missed so much. Yet I feel like you've been with me forever. From the start you have been a mommy's girl. The touch of my hand or the feel of my lips softly against your head was all that you required to soothe you for months. We spent all of our days together, so many of them with you in my arms. I watched you sleep and let you sleep in our bed more times than I can remember. You always loved to be held and absolutely loved to watch people. "Mama" was your first word at just 6 months I LOVED that. You spoke it loud and clear and you said it often. "Dada" came soon after and melted Daddy's heart each and every time he heard it.

You have been such a light in our life this last year, Maddie Girl. When you were an itty bitty baby you loved the song "You are my Sunshine". And our sunshine is exactly what you've been. You are that baby girl that they show in movies and commercials. You've always goo'd and ga-ga'd and giggled like a picture perfect baby. You make the cutest faces, have the most infectious laugh, and have the sweetest Maddie-isms we've ever had the joy of experiencing. Your mere presence makes everyone around you happy. In 14 short months you have learned how to make people feel loved. You. This tiny little baby. Have the ability to make me feel loved. You, sweetpea, are amazing.

I never wondered, when I was pregnant with you, whether or not I'd have room in my heart for you. I never wondered whether or not you'd fit into our world. But I could never have guessed how perfectly you would fit into our life. I couldn't have predicted how incredibly complete you would make our little family feel. You're our little rockstar, our cuddlebug, and our spitfire. You embrace everything with your whole little self and love every second of learning something new. When you're happy, your little body shows it from the squint in your eyes to that gummy little smile to your chubby tippy toes. And when you're upset, oh boy! When you're upset we know to watch out. As passionate as you are when you're happy is as passionate as you are when you're not. It can make things a little bit trying at times but I honestly love every ounce of you, the drama and all. I wouldn't change a bit of who you are, my sweet angel, because you are, in every sense of the word, perfection. And oh how I love you.

Happy 14 months, Madelyn Grace!

xoxo
Mama