This morning I put on one of my husband's sweatshirts as part of my "outfit". My 225 lb, 6'1" husband's sweatshirts. And not in some half-hearted attempt to be comfy either. But rather because almost nothing I own fits me.
I'm here. I'm at rock bottom.
I figure I have two choices. I can either buy clothes that fit or I can lose some of this holiday weight (yeah, I do know we've only had one holiday so far!). And since the ol' budget doesn't exactly allow for a new wardrobe of fat clothes, I guess that leaves me with the latter.
So, I SWEAR, this is it!!!!!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Countdown to Christmas: Day 4
Last night the girls and I read EVERY Christmas book they own. They have, like, twelve. It's not like they're novels or anything but we did read them all. And we read them while sitting under the tree :).
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Countdown to Christmas
As part of our countdown to Christmas this year we here in Ullsmithland have made it our mission to do at least one Christmas-related event for every day leading up to the BIG day. And here's what we have to far:
Dec. 1 - The girls and I put up the tree in their loft. It was pre-lit so I just plugged it in and they decorated it themselves! Maddie didn't quite get it but Ana LOOOOVED it. "It's soooo beautiful, Mommy. This tree is just so beautiful!" is how she described it.
Dec. 2 - We put up the big tree in the family room. Once again, a HUGE hit with the sweetpeas.
Dec. 3 - Perhaps my very favorite Christmastime memory to date (not just this year!). The four of us curled up on the couch, ate popcorn, drank hot chocolate, and watched the 1964 classic "Rudolf" cartoon. This, my friends, is what it's all about :).
I would love to say that I have a list of our daily events to come but honestly I have no clue what's next. And you know, I kinda like it that way!
Dec. 1 - The girls and I put up the tree in their loft. It was pre-lit so I just plugged it in and they decorated it themselves! Maddie didn't quite get it but Ana LOOOOVED it. "It's soooo beautiful, Mommy. This tree is just so beautiful!" is how she described it.
Dec. 2 - We put up the big tree in the family room. Once again, a HUGE hit with the sweetpeas.
Dec. 3 - Perhaps my very favorite Christmastime memory to date (not just this year!). The four of us curled up on the couch, ate popcorn, drank hot chocolate, and watched the 1964 classic "Rudolf" cartoon. This, my friends, is what it's all about :).
I would love to say that I have a list of our daily events to come but honestly I have no clue what's next. And you know, I kinda like it that way!
Sigh...
I'll be honest. It's been a rough few months. A rough year if we're going there (which I'm not). But today I felt really happy for the first time in a long time. Like, genuinely happy. That kind of happy that comes from the inside out. It seeped through my skin and I left it all over my kitchen floor.
This little family that I get to call my own, this saving grace of mine, is the only thing capable of making me this happy.
As I was cooking dinner and the girls shared a chair in the middle of the kitchen, Ana asked me to put on her "party music" (the Fiesta CD from her birthday). I put it on and instantly Miss Maddie began her bootlicious shake. Ana followed with her little girl bounce and soon Mommy and Daddy joined in. So there we were. The four of us - two in pajamas, one in work clothes, and the other in a sundress (don't ask) - breakin' it down. Taking turns dancing with each other and then dancing all together. It was something out of a movie. I wanted to grab my camera and capture it but decided instead to just live it. I danced and laughed with the loves of my life. In that moment I was reminded just how lucky we are. How ridiculously blessed we are.
Our life isn't perfect. It's as far from it right now as I can remember. But it's funny how in the midst of trying times and hardships, God never fails to show His grace. In the eyes of my sweet toddler. In the laugh of my baby. In the simplest things. He humbles me with the unconditional love of these girls and reminds me that even when I feel as though I'm failing I am everything to them - everything they want and everything they need. How lucky I am to have children I am blissfully in love with. How lucky I am to have children I get to hug and kiss and care for. How lucky I am to, even for a moment, be able to sigh and just know I have everything I need.
This little family that I get to call my own, this saving grace of mine, is the only thing capable of making me this happy.
As I was cooking dinner and the girls shared a chair in the middle of the kitchen, Ana asked me to put on her "party music" (the Fiesta CD from her birthday). I put it on and instantly Miss Maddie began her bootlicious shake. Ana followed with her little girl bounce and soon Mommy and Daddy joined in. So there we were. The four of us - two in pajamas, one in work clothes, and the other in a sundress (don't ask) - breakin' it down. Taking turns dancing with each other and then dancing all together. It was something out of a movie. I wanted to grab my camera and capture it but decided instead to just live it. I danced and laughed with the loves of my life. In that moment I was reminded just how lucky we are. How ridiculously blessed we are.
Our life isn't perfect. It's as far from it right now as I can remember. But it's funny how in the midst of trying times and hardships, God never fails to show His grace. In the eyes of my sweet toddler. In the laugh of my baby. In the simplest things. He humbles me with the unconditional love of these girls and reminds me that even when I feel as though I'm failing I am everything to them - everything they want and everything they need. How lucky I am to have children I am blissfully in love with. How lucky I am to have children I get to hug and kiss and care for. How lucky I am to, even for a moment, be able to sigh and just know I have everything I need.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
It was over as quickly as it began...
9/09/08 - Ana's first soccer practice. She LOVES it. She kicks the ball, runs around, warms up, even plays a practice game with her team. Soccer is her sport. Mommy and Daddy beam with pride and look forward to a promising season.
9/16/08 - Auntie Carie and Baby Wyatt come to see Ana play. She refuses to go out onto the field. Doesn't go out even once. She's suddenly afraid of everything - her coach, her teammates, the ball, the other team. Mommy and Daddy's dreams of a future soccer star are slowly fading.
9/23/08 - Ana gets out onto the field! But she insists on holding her coach's hand at all times. Maybe soccer's not her sport. At least not for now anyway.
I don't know what the right thing to do here is. Do we let her give up and quit? Or do we force her to do something she's so obviously not into? Ugh. Mamahood is tough.
9/16/08 - Auntie Carie and Baby Wyatt come to see Ana play. She refuses to go out onto the field. Doesn't go out even once. She's suddenly afraid of everything - her coach, her teammates, the ball, the other team. Mommy and Daddy's dreams of a future soccer star are slowly fading.
9/23/08 - Ana gets out onto the field! But she insists on holding her coach's hand at all times. Maybe soccer's not her sport. At least not for now anyway.
I don't know what the right thing to do here is. Do we let her give up and quit? Or do we force her to do something she's so obviously not into? Ugh. Mamahood is tough.
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