Monday, January 21, 2008

Ana, sweet Ana

Oh my Ana,

I feel the need to write you this letter because for almost two weeks now you've been breaking my heart.

Almost two weeks ago I left you for four days. An unexpected trip to the hospital led to a four-day stay and four long days away from you and your sister. If I had known when Daddy put you down for a nap that I wouldn't be here when you woke up, my baby, I would have let you know. I would have held you a little longer and kissed you a little more. I would have told you I loved you a few more times and explained to you when I'd be home again. But I didn't know, my angel, and I am so sorry for what you've been through.

We spend so much of our time together that I almost didn't recognize what time was like without you. Right at first glance I did not like it. Not. At. All. When Daddy told me that you were sad and kept saying "I miss my mommy" I knew exactly how you felt. When he said you would cry for me, I cried too.

Since I've been home you've had a such hard time going to bed at night and taking a nap during the day. It breaks my heart to think you could feel like I may not be here when you wake up. I hope that soon enough these few days will be forgotten and you won't remember a day when you woke to find me gone. I hope that you'll soon trust that I will be here when you wake up and go back to enjoying your naps and bedtime. And I hope that this feeling that I may ever leave you will vanish for good because, my sweet girl, I would never leave you. Not now. Not ever. You need to know that and I'm sorry if, even for one minute, you ever had to feel like I would.

Mommy ~ XOXO

P.s. Your sister, on the other hand, has been seemingly unphased :O).....

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